Stuck working a crappy job that doesn't pay very much?
Want to get a higher education but don't think you can afford it?
Do you want housing that is affordable for you and your family?
Well it's your lucky day!
The government will solve your problems. They'll put money in your checking account. They'll pay for your college education. They'll put a roof over your head and ensure you can put food on the table for your family.
You see, the government has this great program - perhaps you've heard of it. It's this little thing called the military. It's pretty awesome. You get to wear a super snazzy uniform, you'll finally lose the ten pounds you've been "working" at for months, and you'll be serving your country!
Do I sound grumpy?
Good. I'd hate to lose my conservative edge.
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