There are a number of groups people fit into with their daycare view. First, we have the "Daycare is the only way your child will learn anything" group. This group believes that stay at home mom's are completely incapable of educating their children and preparing them for the world. Children that stay at home will be damaged forever because they wont know how to socialize with other kids. They are never going to be exposed to germs so someday, when they're in the "real world," they're going to contract a cold and die.
Then you have the "daycare is the devil - kids belong at home with their parents" group. This group believes that sending your children to daycare is equivalent to saying that you don't love them. This only teaches children that parents aren't important and family bonding will never happen.
The third, and final, group "daycare is so expensive and I can't believe anyone would pay someone else to raise their child." The members of this group are mostly single and child free. They make me laugh.
My response? I'm a college student pulling a 3.9 cumulative GPA after five years of college. If that doesn't qualify me to teach my child the itsy bitsy spider and how to wash his hands, the world is surely in trouble. Brody has been home, with just me and no other children, for 15 months. He shares toys well, doesn't hit, doesn't bite, and is generally a fun child to spend time with. He loves other people and willingly goes to anyone - something I'm not sure is so fantastic. I believe a slight hesitance to go to other people is OK for a child.
I have loved having Brody home with me. I've been very lucky that I have had him with me for 15 months. I was there for the first time he rolled over, first time he crawled, first steps, first words, and every other first. I've had oodles of time to play with him and I always make sure to get a fair share of hugs and kisses in everyday. I know my son loves me from the huge grin he has every time I walk in the door from work. That grin is priceless.
I also know that I cannot continue functioning at the pace I have been going forever. Brody is a boy on the move and he takes a lot of energy to keep up with. I've been feeling very guilty the last few weeks as I've plopped him down on the couch and turned the TV to Nick Jr, begging for just twenty more minutes of quiet time so I can frantically scratch one more assignment off the never ending homework list.
So today, Brody started his new routine of going to daycare every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Yes, it's expensive. Even the student rate at $66 for three full days makes me question if this is the right decision. Surely, I could suck it up and keep him home and get everything done and save my family a lot of money, but the cost of my health and sanity are equally important.
I dropped Brody off at 7:30 this morning. The minute we walked in the door he ran over to give the fish tank a kiss. He then started playing with all of the toys. He wouldn't even sit still so I could take his jacket off. We snapped a picture before I left for the day. He didn't even realize, or care, that I was leaving. He just wanted to play with the big yellow truck.
I know a number of friends have been making bets as to whether or not there would be tears from me on the first day of daycare. I can honestly say there have no been tears. There was a feeling of relief when I came home and had a quiet house. I don't have to worry about trying to multitask my way through all of my obligations and can feel satisfied that Brody is getting the attention he needs and wont be spending a day enchanted by cartoons.So while everyone is busy giving me their opinions about how I'm scarring my child for life, I'm busy making the best decisions I can for my life and family. In the end, my family's happiness is the only thing that matters.
"I'm busy making the best decisions I can for my life and family. In the end, my family's happiness is the only thing that matters."
ReplyDeleteThat's all that matters--making the best choice for YOUR family, not anyone else's family.
I stayed home with my kids until they were both in school full-time. It was the choice hubby and I felt was the best choice for OUR family. I would have been a crappy employee b/c I would not have been able to give my employer 100%. My dream as a child was to be a SAHM. Really!! So, that's what I did.
Do I believe that just because I did it that way that everyone should?! Heck no! I have close friends that worked because they felt they were the best mothers they could be when they were able to have that work time out of the house. So, again, that was the best choice for THEIR family.
It cracks me up when people think my kids are dumber/not socialized because they stayed home with me. Just because I was a SAHM did not mean my kids never were around other kids! We went to the library for reading time, they were in the church nursery every Sunday, I had friends with kids their age and they played together.... And since my 7th grader is getting a 3.5 GPA and my 4th grader is in the gifted/talented program, I guess I didn't make them dumb by keeping them at home LOLOL
Just keep doing what you think is best. Brody knows he is loved, that is what matters.
My children always give me that big welcome grin too when I walk in their doors - sometimes accompanied with a roll of the eyes. :o)
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mama and you make me very proud.
Amen! Whatever works for your family is what you should be doing.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up my brother and I were not in daycare until I was in 4th grade and he was in 2nd. Until that point my Dad and Mom worked opposite shifts because financially they couldn't afford daycare (it cost more than my Mom was making at her job.)
When my brother's 2 1/2 year old stays with us for 2 weeks every other month I realize the amount that I am able to accomplish when she isn't here and while I miss her while she is gone I'm thrilled with being able to have peace and quiet to finish my never ending to do list.
I also understand your guilt of using the TV as the babysitter - Sometimes it's the only thing we can pull out of our bag of tricks to have a few minutes to get something done.
Paisley is in daycare full time. Does it make me feel crappy that I can't spend every minute with her? Yes. Do I feel sad every time I walk out the door after dropping her off? You bet. Do I wish that our finances allowed me to stay at home with her? Absolutely. Do I think that she 100% benefits from the care of another person, exposure to other children, and *gasp* germs? Yes, yes, and yes.
ReplyDeleteDaycare is not the devil - like anything else, there's pros and cons. A happy and sane mama, a gorgeous pumpkin, and a tired but happy Brody makes for a win/win situation in my book.