It's 10 AM. You've been up with the baby since 7 AM. You've fed both you and your child breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, changed two dirty diapers (what the heck are you feeding that child!), completed your homework, and solved world hunger.
Your spouse is still sleeping.
On the couch.
In the middle of the living room.
They are totally interfering with your efforts to provide clean drinking water to nations an ocean away.
You communicate your frustration in the following manner:
A - You kiss your spouse on the forehead, gently rousing them from their blissful slumber. You explain that their sleeping on the couch greatly interferes with your efforts to feed the Olson Twins, and you ask then to kindly move to the bed upstairs to continue their slumber.
B - You throw a pillow at your spouses head and tell them the sun came up hours ago and there are things to be done... like changing dirty diapers, washing bottles, and saving the stink bug from extinction.
C - You say nothing. Place the child in a safe spot with their favorite cartoon. You take your frustrations out on your treadmill, hoping that your spouse hears every.single.thud. of your feet slamming into belt. For safe measure, you blare the Glee soundtrack and sing along. Correction - belt along because you totally sound just like Lea Michele. Mention nothing of your jealousy that they are sleeping late into the day while you are busy promoting world peace. When you see your spouse awake, say nothing. Slam lots of cupboard doors to make sure they know you're extra irritated.
If you answered...
A - You're probably a newly wed. Your romantic love makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
B - Congratulations! Young love is wearing off and you are entering the phase of marriage where you can show your true personality.
C - You're probably a student going to school for Professional Communication. You clearly have a strong grip on ways to communicate effectively, and you're sure to land a high paying job right after college. Keep practicing the silent treatment. I hear it solves work place drama better than speaking actual words out of your mouth.
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hahahaha, this was really cute. I would totally throw a pillow at him, THEN place the baby in his lap
ReplyDelete---Nicole Sherman
So I would go with A. Guess I am a true newley wed.
ReplyDeleteThe A answer made me laugh out loud. I can just hear you saying that! It's too bad that the silent treatment deprives the one closest to you of your biting wit.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm also really glad to hear you talk about "workplace drama," since that was one of the things that we talked about in class today--how communicators tend to be the cartilage between not only companies and their customers but between internal constituencies as well. We are often called upon to be peacemakers, or at least to be the corporate version of Switzerland, because we need everyone's goodwill to get documentation projects done.
Not that being passive aggressive isn't a valuable professional strategy. Sometimes it's the only thing that gets their attention.
You have such a witty personal voice in your writing, especially in your post of how to communicate with your spouse! Choice A is most definitely something a newlywed couple would do. I would belt out the tunes if I was in your position too! Heck, I would belt it out regardless! I think it is important to note how as a relationship progresses, the person's true self comes out more and more and I love how you showed this. Great blog post and I can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to everything you mentioned in this post, except I'm the one sleeping on the couch as my fiancé takes care of everything. We don't have a child, but we do have a cat that acts like a child.
ReplyDeleteMy fiancé would definitely answer "B" for communicating his anger. He's pretty good at letting me know I'm lazy when it comes to housework. ;)
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ReplyDeletewould defiantly pick A)gently kiss his forehead to wake him from a fantastic slumber to trick my husband into thinking this would be a pleasant experience, then go to B) throw a pillow at his head and tell him we have shit to do to show him I'm serious then C) go riding for two hours and sing to my horse, who I'm am pretty sure doesn't like the sound of my singing voice, because I didn't let out all my annoyance in B so I need to do something active, sing, and say nothing to him until I cool down. I actually do have a nice voice, I sing at weddings and games but I think its too loud for my horse, she doesn't really know where its coming from...haha
ReplyDeleteLuckily I dont have kids yet, just a full-time job, a horse who requires two full time jobs and tons of attention, a little black kitty who wakes me up every morning at 6 to put food in his dish whether he is going to eat it or not (He likes to know its there just in case) and my husband who really does work hard. Sometimes I feel like I do more things than him in one day, but I'm sure he thinks the same about me too. Yes, we are newly weds too but we are also people who have seen each other's true colors for a long time now so its ok. :)
Your life sounds really hectic, but I can tell you take it all under stride. No matter how much your husband sleeps. It's great to see that some working mothers and wives still think its a good idea to come to school and get a degree to provide more for their family. Why leave it all up to the husband anyway? They just sleep. As for effective communication with your husband I would say that no couples really effectively communicate, wheres the fun in that? As for me, I would probably choose B or C, although really throwing a pillow at him would be a lot more fun than giving him the silent treatment. Men never really get that anyway, at least my boyfriend doesn't. If you dont tell them what's wrong they just assume your pissed for no good reason and continue about their day. Men.
ReplyDeleteI should note that JR functions as a night owl. His most productive hours are between 9 pm and 4 am, and he works hard keeping our hobby farm maintained. While I wish he functioned a little better in daylight hours, I'm pretty lucky to have him around. Brody and I will keep him :)
ReplyDeleteI would use a variation of 'a': A smooch and then, "Honey BEAR! I know your tired, but go sleep in bed!"
ReplyDeleteFifteen minutes later, when he was still on the couch, another smooch. "Come on, asshole, MOVE!" in the sweetest voice possible. ;)